And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
So i just got diagnosed with swine flu. im at walgreens looking like shit and this guy keeps staring at me. Im so gonna cough in his face.
well, dont
I didnt. i just coughed then looked at him menacingly. he got it.
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
Randomize
