she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
I'm only texting you this bc god forbid circumstances change when you wake up but currently santa is asleep on top of the washer and dryer.
Randomize
