and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
Randomize
