Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
I am mentally ready for anal.
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
Randomize
