see... this is why i put birth control in all my friends drinks
wait.... you do what?
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
I need water and some morals
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
