The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
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