I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
You know I love you more than life itself, but love has its limits. And so help me god, if you bail on me, I will fucking watch the last Game of Thrones episode without you.
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
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