is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
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