it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
Randomize
