why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
Randomize
