hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
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