So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
Randomize
