Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
Randomize
