it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
Randomize
