and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
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