watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
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