How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
lol hangovers are for mortals.
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
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