If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
Here's a fun fact your kittens ate my vomit last night
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
Randomize
