i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
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