she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
So this text is costing me two dollars because I'm out of the country, but I just wanted to let you know it went well with the stripper last night
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
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