We walked through the hotel lobby in slow-mo taking huge steps because we were astronauts, and astronauts obviously can't be drunk.
two words: eviction party
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
My ATM looks so different sober.
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
Hippo gnu deer
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
Randomize