i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
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