i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
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