Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
Randomize
