Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
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