Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
I'm passing your future prison.
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
Randomize