What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
Randomize
