you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
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