Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
Randomize
