You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
Randomize
