maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
Randomize
