there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
Randomize
