I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
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