Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
Swine flu is the new snow day.
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
Randomize
