don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
My bed smells like the plague
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
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