So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
Randomize
