My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
I put an asterick after the names of people in my phone that I've fucked. Both as a form of bragging, and also so I can actually remember all their names.
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
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