I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
Randomize
