i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
Everyone says I win the strip club
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
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