First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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