dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
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