you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
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