Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
he told me I talked like a deaf person
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
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