I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
I got fingered by sexual harassment panda last night, by a van, I can't remember if he took off his furry panda hands...
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
Randomize
