Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
Randomize
