I had a dream last night that Anthony Bourdain gave me a vibrator.
Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
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