My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
