I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
Randomize