Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
Randomize
