Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
Randomize