We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
Randomize
