u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
Randomize
