Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
Did we literally take a cab across the street
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
Bring me that man meat
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
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