people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
Randomize
