I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
woke up in my one night stand's bed and barfed all over her floor. she came back from the bathroom, looked at the vomit, looked at me and said "normally i'd tell you to clean it and get the fuck out, but i remember the sex was good, so i'll let it go." Score.
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
I took an uber home at 6am. Went to Santanas, apparently they don't take american express. So the uber driver bought my burrito. Success!
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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