I need help removing her.
I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
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