I saw a penis in my cereal this morning. do you think my cheerios are like professor trelawney's tea leaves?
one can only hope.
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
Randomize