Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
Randomize
