I puked a lego.
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
Randomize
