No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
Randomize
